


I'm Not Trying To Hurt You, I Just Love To Speak (RAY TORO)

by RockWithItWriting



Category: My Chemical Romance, ray toro - Fandom
Genre: Other, Ray Toro - Freeform, my chemical romance - Freeform, reader - Freeform, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-22 00:03:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7410463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockWithItWriting/pseuds/RockWithItWriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Word count: 1189</p><p>Requested: Yes</p><p>This is kinda fluff? It’s angsty at the beginning and fluffy at the end? For some reason I struggled with writing this heavily. I hope it’s up to what you expected!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Trying To Hurt You, I Just Love To Speak (RAY TORO)

Nobody could have prepared you to be with a band member. The late nights, early mornings, temper tantrums and fights. You relationship with Ray was rocky, especially toward the end of My Chem. It turned into long nights on the phone with one of the other guys, getting info on what had happened because Ray had stormed into the house and locked you out of your shared bedroom.

But, weeks after the split, it went back to normal. Ray became more relaxed and loving and you both pushed the split behind you, focusing on your future together. It was bright and you loved him. He loved you. And neither of you brought up the split to avoid the fights until you watched him, sat on the couch in the morning on his phone, face pale.

“It’s been one thousand days,” He said, putting his phone to sleep and setting it on the coffee table in front of him. You sat down in one of the recliners, slowly, like Ray was an injured animal.

“I know,” You said slowly, “How’re you feeling?” If you would have known how he reacted you wouldn’t have said it. You thought he was a grown man and you were adults but his head snapped up and he snarled at you.

“How do you think I’m feeling?” You recoiled, pursing your lips. You were hurt, but you didn’t let it show. If he was going to be a child about it, you were going to treat him as such.

“I don’t know,” You replied, smoothly, “That’s why I asked you.” His eyes flashed and Ray stood, almost knocking the coffee table over.

“I’m not in the mood for your-” You stood, too, anger bubbling in your stomach.

“I’m not in the mood to go through this again! You cut him off, “I went through this once already! I can’t do it again!”  He looked angrier than possible.

“It was my band-” He yelled, taking several steps toward you, throwing his hands to the sides.

“It was my life!” You screamed, voice raw, tears springing to your eyes, “It was my chiropractor visits because you made me sleep on the couch! I can’t go through another period of time where you shut me out because you can’t deal with your emotions like a normal person!” His face fell blank as you stormed from the room, upset and aiming to reclaim your bedroom before he could. When you turned to slam the door you say his face, panic stricken and sorrow filled. But you still shut it, ignoring his calls for you.

There wasn’t really any reason for you to be mad besides the fact that you were going to be treated like you didn’t deserve until Ray felt like he was better, healed from the breakup. You blew a breath out of your mouth before laying back down in bed. You didn’t care that it was barely noon, you wanted to sleep until you didn’t remember that you probably had just wrecked your relationship. You could hear Ray calling your name, but you ignored it, ignored him, closed your eyes and ignored everything.

Eventually you fell into sleep, relaxing until the sun was setting. You woke up, alone and cold, realized you had slept almost six hours and there were dried tear tracks on your pillow. When you opened the door, bent on finding Ray and apologizing, you were stunned to find him sprawled out on the ground, eyes closed, breathing even.

“Ray baby?” You said, sitting down next to his head and threading your hand through his hair, “I’m sorry,” You continued,voice shaking, when his eyes opened, “I love you so much.” He sat up, roughly pulling you into a hug.

“No,” He sniffed, “I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I was just upset because I miss the guys but it’s not fair to you to have to deal with it all.” You shook your head, placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“It wasn’t fair of me to leave you alone on one of the days you needed me the most.” He nodded, not about to argue with that fact. You kissed him once more, standing and pulling him off of the ground. “Let’s go cheer you up, yeah?” You said, pulling him to the lounge of your house and settling down on the couch with the remote. “Instead of focusing on the bad,” You said, pulling up ‘funny moment’ montages from his band that were on youtube, “We’re going to focus on the good and look back at all the fun times you had together.” Ray looked at you, eyes wide with awe.

“That’s… Not a bad idea,” He admitted, watching the screen with fondness. He wrapped his arms around you, curling like a question mark. You didn’t watch the screen, training your eyes on the side of his face, the curve of his small smile. You loved him with your being, but your stomach was curled with guilt because of the nap you had taken and the words you had said, abandoning the man you loved on a day when he was struggling anyway. Like he was reading your mind, he turned to you: “Stop feeling guilty, honey,” You smiled and laid your head on his chest.

“I think I’ll feel guilty about this for the rest of my life,” You admitted, pushing yourself closer to him, taking his warmth and showing him you were there and you cared.

“Don’t,” He whispered, tilting your chin up so you were looking at him, “Please. I’m okay. I treated you wrong during the split. I treated you wrong for weeks after and I was going to do the same thing today, I think. I needed it, the wake up call, because I didn’t understand I was hurting you. I thought you understood, and I can’t imagine how you felt going through it as alone as I was.” You kissed him again, hand on his face to keep him there while you worked through your torrent of emotions.

“I love you,” You said, voice shaking, “And I did, I tried, I called Mikey and he talked me through it and it helped me understand but I was hurt and scared because I thought… I thought you were leaving me, too. I thought you had seen it as a new beginning, a reason to shut me out and leave alone and get rid of me,” Tears were dripping down your face, “But now I understand and I’m so sorry, and I feel horrible but thank you for staying and thank you for telling me how you feel.” Ray smiled and kissed you deeply, his arms trapping you to his chest. You wanted to stay there forever, wrapped up with him.

“I love you,” He said, “I love you and I love you and I love you,” You giggled and kissed his nose, pushing your face into his neck.

“I love you too, you big doof,” You kissed his neck, both of you turning your eyes back to the screen to relive a part of Ray’s life.


End file.
